"done and done"

when i first heard this phrase from darren a couple years ago, i didn't really understand the need or logic of the repetition it involves.

[the conversation went something like this:

me: so you're done with grading?

he: done and done.

me: ...done AND done?

he: yeah, you've never heard that? i thought you grew up in the South.

me: but why repeat the done?

he: emphasis.

me: so you're saying that "done" by itself doesn't really mean "done"? it means half-done? almost done?

he: whatever it means, it's not the same as "done and done"]

now i think i understand it a little more. sometimes you're done with something, and you're just done. finished. no big deal.

but sometimes you're done with something, and you're really done. you're mentally, emotionally, physically so far from even thinking about that something that a simple "done" just won't do it.

it's like in high school (college) when you burn all the homework from a class as soon as you take the final exam.

or you destroy every piece of evidence of a relationship after a bad break up.

or you return sixty-four books to the UGA library after writing over 120 pages in 18 weeks.

over.
finished.
se acabó.

done AND DONE.

cautiously risky...? or just plain risky?

so i am writing this paper. it's on irony in a certain phenomenal text, The Hour of the Star, by a certain phenomenal writer, Clarice Lispector. (coughreaditrebeccacoughcough!) Lispector claims she's not a writer, the narrative voice in the novel claims it's not a novel, the story is altogether beautifully self-contradictory. really impressive.

so, like i said, i am writing this paper on the irony of the novel, and i thought, what better way to write about irony than in an ironic style that mimics the text in question while still showing my familiarity with (and contribution to) the existing criticism about said novel?

part of the process would also be to mimic the false randomness of the novel, which (ironically) claims to have no technique or style, but obviously does. in doing so, i would also be practicing what is called by some (Irigaray & Cixous) l'ecriture femenine that subverts male-dominant discourse (which is unified and direct) by its plurality, multi-directionality and hibridity...

i think it could be brilliant! well, not really, but at least stylistic and fun, the opportunities for which are few and far between in grad school. there's only one problem....i'm not sure if my professors (yes, there are two) will approve of this or if they will think it's substandard writing because it won't exactly follow the (ahem, "male-dominant-unified-discourse") norms of academic writing....

in short, they'll either be delighted or disappointed.

while i feel pretty confident that i could argue my case quite successfully if the latter turns out to be true, i'm not sure i will have the opportunity, given that this is the last paper of the semester.

so here's my question: should i include a note of some sort to explain & justify my strategy, or be really bold and just do it without explanation like a true (fake) feminist???

the marshmallow buffer

somehow it keeps the hot in hot chocolate way longer than is reasonable, so that when you finally get to the chocolate itself, it burns every tastebud off your tongue, and (since you can't just spit it out onto your carpet) you proceed to swallow it and burn every cell from your esophagus to your large intestine.

and you can't even taste to enjoy the rest of it.

The longest 12 days of my life...

are over!

i passed!!!

thanks again to everyone for all your support.

most important thing i've learned from comps:

all my friends are apparently right next to their cell phones at exactly 6:54 p.m. on wednesdays. (thanks for the congratulatory texts!)

This is just to say

I have recently learned two important things about William Carlos Williams:

1) he was half Puerto Rican, a biographical fact that is mysteriously omitted from most summaries of his life...

2) my well-read husband wasn't familiar with him, which led me to the frightful conclusion that many others also might not be!

so here are my favorites:

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

==========================

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox


and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast


Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Ah, the library

two journals seven days overdue: $45.00

one journal, also seven days overdue,
mysteriously catalogued as "lost or stolen": $250.00

estimated cost of emergency surgery after
consequent heart attack: $75,000.00

Having a friendly library employee on your side: PRICELESS.

Going

first, i'd like to thank everyone for their encouragement, chicken salads, smart waves, cookie cakes, prayers, quiches, peppy cd's, hot teas, etc. you guys really know how to make a girl feel smart & loved.

i'm not sure yet how i did on the exam, although i will say i was thoroughly prepared, thanks to said encouragement, chicken salads, smart waves, cookie cakes, prayers, quiches, peppy cd's, hot teas, etc.

since i turned in the exam, i've had the feeling you get when you stay up all night writing what you think is an incredible essay, only to turn it in and either A) forget what the heck you wrote or 2) think you remember and think it was crap and it only seemed good because of the delirium you were suffering at the time you wrote it.

i'll let you know when i get the verdict, which will probably be after Thanksgiving.

in other news, does anyone know how to get one of these to write papers in Spanish? i've tried carrots, leafy greens, and my weight in gold.



i even tried gorgonzola cheese, just in case the Wallace and Gromit story was for real.

'Twas the night before...

10:49 pm--at this very moment, i'm the smartest i've ever been.

i hope it lasts until 4pm tomorrow.

Half-full

Studying for comprehensive exams STINKS, but it is a great excuse to do the following things:

1) eat whatever you feel like, no matter the financial or health costs

2) take in whatever drug serves your immediate purposes: caffeine, alcohol, muscle relaxers (by prescription, of course!)

3) actually learn something "comprehensive"

4) buy "study shoes"

5) unabashedly welcome all attention, sympathy and reassurance of your superior intelligence from not-studying-for-comps-friends (hint, hint ;) )


3 more days!!!

when will Georgia boys learn

red pants are not attractive on men. ever.

and niether are pink shirts, for that matter, except in very rare cases.

just wondering

aren't to-do lists supposed to get shorter the more work you do?

because the more i research & study, the more research & studying i realize i still have left.

(and my bloggings are increasingly negative, too...)

take that, asheville

at 1:45 am, darren wakes me up saying "Jenna, get out of bed!", much to my surprise and alarm.

is there a fire? is there a some strange creature in the bed?

nope. there are deer about 10 feet from our window having a midnight snack. two full grown deer.

it was quite a sight at 1:45 am. after a few minutes in awe, i had to convince darren to go back to sleep, which he finally did when the motion-activated porch light went off.

reminiscing

10:57 pm. chicken nuggets, french fries, cherry coke and 2 pages to go on a paper.

ah, yes...it's as if i were in college all over again...

oh, wait. i am.

when will this ever end?

Disclaimer:

number of weeks until jenna's comprehensive master's exams: 2

number of papers jenna has due before said exams: 4

number of people jenna can hang out with before exams: 0

if i call you to hang out, please tell me no, what the hell am i thinking, shouldn't i be reading critical articles about the Spanish Golden Age or writing essays on the cultural transvestism of Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic as shown in the novel Sirena Selena vestida de pena???

thanks. :)

the case against moral relativism

HUFU.

What is it? Find out at www.eathufu.com/home.asp

Top Five (or so...) Reasons to Study at Panera (instead of Hot Corner)

1. Classical music at a reasonable background volume (not loud, scary, feel-like-you're-walking-though-a-haunted-house-full-of-screaming-children-music)

2. soup in a bread bowl (not soup not in a bread bowl)

3. free internet and unlimited free coffee refills (not unlimited-free-coffee-refills-with-a-guilty-conscience)

4. managers that recognize former employees and give them free stuff (not non-managers who are too towny-cool to acknowledge that they recognize you, even though they take your order five times a week)

5. A. trash cans that are emptied regularly (not trash cans that are always too full to even precariously balance your empty cup on the top of the other overflowing cups)

B. friendly staff who bus your table for you (not unfriendly staff who don't)

C. running into normal people you know (not the weirdos-you-wish-you-didn't-know*)


*this category does not include Karen, Mitch, or...well, i think they're the only normal people i've ever run into at Hot Corner...

amor constante

once i again i cave to peer pressure. Becca's awesome poetry posting, all regarding the seasonal theme of death, has inspired me to post one of my own favorite death poems, by Francisco de Quevedo.


AMOR CONSTANTE MÁS ALLÁ DE LA MUERTE

Cerrar podrá mis ojos la postrera
sombra, que me llevare el blanco día;
y podrá desatar esta alma mía
hora a su afán ansioso lisonjera;

mas no de esotra parte en la ribera
dejará la memoria en donde ardía;
nadar sabe mi llama la agua fría,
y perder el respeto a ley severa;

alma a quien todo un Dios prisión ha sido,
venas que humor a tanto fuego han dado,
medulas que han gloriosamente ardido,

su cuerpo dejarán, no su cuidado;
serán ceniza, mas tendrá sentido;
polvo serán, mas polvo enamorado.


and (so becca doesn't get mad at me!) here's the brutal english translation, which does absolutely no justice to the original.


(Love constant beyond Death

Perhaps whatever final shadow that
the shining day may bring could close my eyes,
and this my soul may well be set aflight
by time responding to its longing sighs;
but it will not, there on the farther shore
its memory leave behind, where once it burned:
my flame the icy current yet can swim,
and so severe a law can surely spurn.

Soul by no less than a god confined,
veins that such a blazing fire have fueled,
marrow to its glorious flames consigned:

the body will abandon, not its woes;
will soon be ash, but ash that is aware;
dust will be, but dust whose love still grows.)

Mach 3 for monday

Occam's Razor: Given two equally predictive theories, choose the simpler.

Blore's Razor: When given a choice between two theories, take the one that is funnier.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

do you know the muffin...bomb?

mmmm...they look so delicious don't they?

so harmless...


until one day...
...
...





the muffin bomber attacks! and you, unsuspecting teaching assistant, are covered in gooey suicide muffin guts.

yup, blueberries and all.


(campus police blocked off an entire block of Lumpkin St. this morning to investigate a bomb threat in the Student Learning Center. the reportedly suspicious package turned out to be a misplaced box of muffins. on a side note, there was apparently no need to notify persons inside the SLC of said threat, including myself and my endearing spanish 1110 class.)

update

here it is folks:


















Golden Peanut Factory, Ashburn, GA

jeopardy, anyone?

Category: Conference Trips to Florida

100 pts: This is the title of Jenna's new super-fun-for-driving mixed CD

200 pts: This is what Jenna had to pay for gas to Gainesville, FL from Athens, and back.

300 pts: This is song that was playing when Jenna learned of an extension on a major paper that she still hadn't written

400 pts: This is the difference between presenting a paper in a session about poetry, versus a session on any other topic.

500 pts: You will only see this on I-75 between Valdosta and Macon


Gimme your best guesses, in the form of a question, of course.

(winner gets...uh...something cool.)

just adorable

(Disclaimer: this is not our child, she belongs to Johnmark and Taylor Battaglia)

bandwagon autumn post

today was little green bible day on the UGA campus. they think they're witnessing, but they really are just there to announce the arrival of fall.

thanks little green bible men.

"this day's been crazy, but everything's happened on schedule

from the rain and the cold, to the drink that i spilled on my shirt."

okay, so it's not rainy or cold, but i did spill coffee on my white shirt 30 seconds after i pulled out of the driveway at 7:15am.

moral of the story: stop being so lazy, and put a freaking lid on the travel mug.

Intellectual Property?

i am unabashedly stealing this from my brother's sister-in-law's blog, which she told him on his blog that he could steal. so i'm sure she won't mind, but chris will. for the first time, it'll be true when he says "you're still copying me, even though you did it first."


1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will give you a nickname.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

stuff on cats

my new favorite website, courtesy of Ms. Melissa Hicks.

Preponderance of fright

While writing an activity for my students using comparisons of inequality, a baffling question came to mind:

Who is more frightening, Cristina Ricci or Cameron Diaz?















I vote for the latter, since she always looks ready to devour someone's face.

But more importantly, has there ever been a more frightening man on film than Steve Buscemi?

¿Cómo se dice...masoquista?

recent email:

Hi, I am a transfer student at UGA majoring in
Social Work. This semester I am enrolled in Spanish 1101 and not
my best subject by far. I saw your name and contact information on the Romance Language web site. I was inquiring about your
torturing services.

Thanks,
"Jane Doe"

incriminating photos

well, i have to say, we were more than a little surprised to learn about Feral's secret night life....needless to say, we'll be keeping a close eye on the likker at the party this weekend....

papa needs to recognize.

Instance One:

08/23/05
"Thank you for calling Papa John's, etc...."

"Yeah, I'd like to order a large pizza with onions and bell peppers."

"Uh, we don't have bell peppers. Do you want green peppers instead?"

Yes, please give me THOSE peppers INSTEAD.

Instance Two:

08/30/05

"Thank you for calling Papa John's, etc...."

"Yeah, I'd like to order a large pizza with onions and bell peppers."

"You mean green peppers?"

Yup, THOSE.

Now let's think about this. There really is only one kind of pepper that resembles a bell in its natural state. It comes in different colors, sure. Green, yellow, red, even purple. But do you carry those colors at Papa John's? No. So is the modifier "green" really necessary? No.

However, Papa John's does carry various other types of peppers, all of which are greenish in color: pepperoncini, banana peppers, jalapeños....All much spicier than a bell pepper. And all green. But none were ever shaped like a bell, except the BELL pepper.

Now, let's take it a step further.

A quick search through Google images of "green pepper":











There's no telling what could end up on your pizza.

Now a search for "bell pepper":











Ah, yes. THAT is what I want on my pizza.

is this really my life

it's looking that way.

thinking in clichés

today was hot as...











+ ING






in a..



!!!

[many thanks to an old friend who coined this phrase for me]

God is not a secret, and this is also a song

last night darren and i were chatting with a new grad student in his department who was destined to live in athens, though he's spent the last 15 years in massachussetts. he mentioned a band named the Silver Jews, which i vaguely recognized. my mind went slowing chugging back to a creative writing class i took several years ago at UGA. i said, "the lead singer's a poet", not actually recalling who the lead singer was. but the swedish-born massachusetts scholar knew: david berman.

if i've talked to you about contemporary poetry ever, i've talked to you about david berman's book Actual Air. i may have forced you to listen to some of the poems. it's incredible.

so this morning i was fondly remembering some of my favorite poems by david berman & thought i'd make a post about him.

Top Five Poems by David Berman:

1. Self-Portrait at 28
2. Imagining Defeat
3. Classic Water
4. New York, New York
5. Snow

i can't find a couple of them online...so i might post them here later.

anyway, here are some excerpts from Self-Portait at 28, in case i haven't convinced you yet that you should go read these poems. this one is a longer poem, but absolutely worth it (which is impressive since i tend to dislike long poems).

It is a certain hill
the one I imagine when I hear the word "hill"
and if the apocalypse turns out
to be a world-wide nervous breakdown
if our five billion minds collapse at once
well I'd call that a surprise ending
and this hill would still be beautiful
a place I wouldn't mind dying
alone or with you.
....
You see there is a window by my desk
I stare out when I am stuck
though the outdoors has rarely inspired me to write
and I don't know why I keep staring at it.
....
Today is the first day of Lent
and once again I'm not really sure what it is.
How many more years will I let pass
before I take the trouble to ask someone?
....
It's just that our advances are irrepressible.
Nowadays little kids can't even set up lemonade stands.
It makes people too self-conscious about the past,
though try explaining that to a kid.

"we'll see"

from an email entitled "Open Letter to UGA students":

To our 4,600 incoming freshmen, our incoming transfers and
new graduate students "Welcome to UGA!" And to the rest
of the 33,400 in the student body, a hearty "Welcome back!"

You are now part of one of America's great public research
universities. As you embark on the new academic year, I
hope you will share my excitement about the great things
happening on this campus.

Our freshmen are part of the most academically qualified
incoming class in UGA history, with an average SAT of 1242
and GPA of 3.72.

etc.

i heard it's green

my own personal hell: a never-ending day of frustrated errand-running.

especially when the root of this frustration is yuppy, SUV-wielding college freshmen.*

what's yours???



*there, now i have renewed my status as a true athens resident by exhibiting my anger at the return of "the students". you have to do that every year or the county fines you.

inspiring procrastination

should be an art.

and i should win an award for my superior blog-inspiring techniques. since i (finally) sent out an email about the existence of my blog, two new blogs have blossomed in the garden of cyberspace:

www.crawdaddylonglegs.blogspot.com
www.the-rock-lobster.blogspot.com

and they're wittier than mine. thanks. now i might have to pull some drama a-la-rob to get any real love.

in other news, we now have internet at our house. we didn't go outside all day. that's not true; darren went out a few minutes ago to check the mail.

we haven't actually been on the internet all day, although i do foresee more frequent posts in the future. we spent most of the day doing little things around the house, watching a great movie, and eating homemade mango-filled crepes dusted with powdered sugar and drizzled with mango syrup.



in other words, we trying to distract ourselves from the dreadful reality that school starts in one week.

no soy latina

Cuántos de mis amigos me pueden entender? uf, caramba! dónde están mis amigos?

ah, están aquí!

unos poemas:


RIMA XXI

—¿Qué es poesía?, dices, mientras clavas
en mi pupila tu pupila azul,
¡Qué es poesía! ¿Y tú me lo preguntas?
Poesía... eres tú.

Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer



ARTE POÉTICA

Que el verso sea como una llave
que abra mil puertas.
Una hoja cae; algo pasa volando;
cuanto miren los ojos creado sea,
y el alma del oyente quede temblando.

Inventa mundos nuevos y cuida tu palabra;
el adjetivo, cuando no da vida, mata.

Estamos en el ciclo de los nervios.
El músculo cuelga,
como recuerdo, en los museos;
mas no por eso tenemos menos fuerza:
el vigor verdadero
reside en la cabeza.

Por qué cantáis la rosa, ¡oh poetas!
hacedla florecer en el poema.

Sólo para nosotros viven
todas las cosas bajo el sol.

El poeta es un pequeño Dios.

Vicente Huidobro

i am groucho marx

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

i am not a golf pencil

beside every computer in the University of Georgia's main library is box containing convenient little slips of paper for jotting down the titles, ISBN numbers and locations of everything the resourceful student needs to accomplish whatever task he/she has undertaken.

but no golf pencils.

now really, if you have enough foresight to bring a pencil with you to the library, would you somehow forget to bring paper to write on? i think not.

so here i am, having dug a sharpie out of the abyss that is my purse, writing down ISBN numbers that bleed through the slips of paper and onto the computer desk. that's what you get, stingy library, for denying me a stubby eraserless pencil.

i am impressed

i would first like to thank those of you who so kindly commented on my first poignant post. especially since i forgot to send an email to inform you of my blog--thanks for imitating your croc cousins and seeking it out!

on to more important things: i am impressed. as i read the profiles of these pro-active bloggers, i realized, these are impressive people. mozart, t.s. eliot, jazz, calligraphy...these are among their interests.

i, on the other hand, claim to be interested in the sound /p/, as in pusillanimous.

this, i find, is unimpressive. so i have decided to edit my own fabricated profile in hopes that i may find something more impressive about myself than the ability to think of six random objects that start with the letter p.

so, fellow bloggers, be looking for that update. i may not do it just yet, so that those of you who pose as active bloggers but haven't yet read my profile may truly appreciate the change.

for those who have and long for me to impress you now, i know three ways, all in current use, to spell the salutation "ciao".

tchua. chow. caio.
jenna

i am a sheep

see jenna blog. blog jenna blog. good jenna.