24 July 2007

allow me to elaborate

"Sometimes there's no coffee in the coffee. I plow through it and it is definitely a coffee area, but there's no coffee in it. I always think they'll (sic) be a little at the bottom of the cup, but there never is. If it's missing at all, it's all missing. The fact is, coffee isn't just a substance--it's an event, and it's manifestation depends on countless subtle conditions, most of which are not speakable."

~Joe Wenderoth, Letters to Wendy's

23 July 2007

all i have to say is:

"sometimes there's no coffee in the coffee."

~joe wenderoth

17 July 2007

The Case for Spreading Your Stuff Around*

and i don't mean spreading it around to other folks, like sharing the wealth or anything like that, though i'm sure that has it's benefits, too. but i seriously doubt they can stand up to remarkable benefits of leaving your stuff lying around in places it shouldn't be because a) you think it might come in handy there at some point or 2) you're just too lazy to put it back where it belongs.

now, since the birth of our little Will, i have taken to keeping certain things within arm's reach of where i normally feed the little guy (that is, where the little guy subsequently passes out without two seconds' warning and where i often find myself stuck until he wakes up again. i am happy to say that this doesn't happen as often now that we're training him to put himself to sleep in his crib whenever he gets droopy-eyed. but i digress).

such items include, but are not limited to: multiple burp cloths, a couple baby books, a rattle, a receiving blanket, a novel or two of my own, a giant travel mug of water, my cell phone and the tv and dvd remote controls. i think it's self-explanatory why these things come in handy when one is trapped on a sofa for up to 3 hours at a time.

but what, you ask, are the possible benefits of leaving random items out of arm's reach, in such distant places as your car, your office or even a friend's house, simply because you're too lazy to return them to their proper homes? glad you asked. let me tell you a little story about my morning.

phyllis** is staying with us this week so that i can get a headstart on my planning for the fall semester***. though she and ellie have brought down a cot in the past, she finds it just as comfortable to sleep on our sofa, which is where she was this morning as i was getting ready to go teach my 8am class. not wanting to wake her, i didn't bother to turn on the lights to put on my sandals, which were located conveniently by the front door beside darren's flip-flops.

you see where this is going, right?

as i stepped out of the truck on campus, i was shocked to find that i had put on mismatched sandals--one brown and sparkly, one black and old-navy-flip-floppy. i laughed at myself all the way to my department, where, having sufficiently 'spread my stuff around,' i found a complete pair of matched sandals in which to teach. granted, this pair was black, which didn't at all correspond to my brown tank top and brown leopard-spotted skirt, so i still felt compelled to explain myself, in spanish, to my students. they were quite entertained and most likely now think i am a complete airhead.****

just for the record, a list of other random stuff in my office:
a pink fluffy scarf, a bag of microwave popcorn, two sturdy water bottles, a roll of toilet paper, an empty canister that once held coffee, a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head, a list of the caffeine content of various beverages, peanut butter, several pieces of silverware, a can of chicken noodle soup, a stack of paper plates, plastic cups and plastic forks, and a Christmas ornament of a smiling marshmallow knitting while sitting atop a chocolate square and a graham cracker (a.k.a., a s'more).

don't ask.

*what a great topic to make my big blog comeback, right?
**darren's mom, a.k.a. best mother-in-law ever
***i'm teaching introduction to spanish literature, which means i've got a lot of planning now and a lot of grading later
****also worth mentioning are the benefits of having a patient, understanding companion with a good sense of humor. my darling husband did take the time to bring me my other brown sparkly sandal, as well as the lunch i had absentmindedly left in the refrigerator....