11 May 2006

through the eyes of a 50 year old stoner

so, i went to the eye doctor today. mainly because the right lens popped out of my glasses, and i'm tired of fixing it myself, but also because my eyesight has gotten notably worse from spending the past four months glued to a computer screen. and because i've been seeing this little spot floating around in my right eye for at least a month.

so, they fixed the frames (permanently, i hope), gave me an eye exam, and dilated my eyes to check out the mysterious spot. that's where the fun begins.

while i was waiting for them to finish up my new lenses, i wandered over to the GAP and New York & Co to look for a new white t-shirt and white sleeveless shirt--must-haves for a hot summer of teaching and pretending to be all professional. can't show up to class with a dingy white shirt on!

anyway, the ever-so-nice-though-probably-not-sincere GAP employee kindly told me her name and to find her if i needed anything...while i most likely had a bizarre look on my face as i tried to get her face in focus. remember--dilated eyes.

i'm pretty sure she thought i was high, and i'm pretty sure she went and told all her GAP buddies that some girl was totally stoned and asking about white tops. so now i know how stoned people feel when they shop at the GAP: paranoid.

back at the eye store, i had to sign my credit card receipt, which was also rather embarassing, since my pupils were the size of tangerines. this meant that to find the appropriate line to sign, i had to--oh, yes--hold the receipt at arm's length. now i also know how it feels to be fifty.

on a positive note, though, my vision is only slightly worse prescription-wise, and the 'floater' is harmless and not a sign of anything serious. and, since i don't graduate until saturday, my conscience was perfectly clear as i used my student discount for the last time. for now, at least.

8 comments:

edumangia said...

I had eye surgery three years ago, and thus began my life alone, without the protection glasses give you (I really felt insecure for a while, looked for them in the morning... there was a whole mourning period). But I will never forget the dilated pupils that forced me more than once to ask someone to hold my hand in order to walk properly or find my way home.

The Rock Lobster said...

man, i miss those student discounts and student health insurance.

The Rock Lobster said...

man, i miss those student discounts and student health insurance.

jmg said...

student heelth insurance?!? man, at UGA it's not even worth it--it's more expensive than our plan!

The Rock Lobster said...

really? well i guess ours wasn't really good health insurance. you pretty much could only go to the campus health center. that was fine if you didn't have anything too wrong with you. if you did, then they would always diagnose you with mono. those doctors weren't exactly the sharpest needles in the infirmary.

jmg said...

ah, yes, we just pay a student fee for that. and here, if it's not mono, it's a 'sinus and upper respiratory infection'.

Rebecca said...

You've graduated! Congratulations!!

But how frightening is it that four months of graduate work costs you eyesight? Eesh. I am glad it was only a minor bit.

Great story, my friend. And great title.

(Also, the "for now, at least"... How true. How very scarily, excitingly, comfortingly true.)

Jennifer said...

Are you kidding!!! Use that student ID until you're independently wealthy. Have you priced a movie ticket lately? So funny about the gap!!! Next time try to navigate the quiktrip! It's so hard!