Status update:

Jenna thinks she might be over the lime green background for her blog.

A teacher's dream

So, this morning I was thinking about dry erase markers.

For those whose profession doesn't demand much interaction with these writing utensils, there are a couple things you need to know:

1-They are so much better than chalk.

2-But they die much more quickly than chalk.

3- Especially when used on a cheap dry erase board.

4-UGA has cheap dry erase boards.

Presumably, this was an effort to save UGA money. Those of us who can do basic math know, however, that buying one more expensive board, which will last five times as long as its cheap alternative, will ultimately save you more money. And it won't destroy my dry erase markers so quickly, which will save me money, too.

So that is the background information; here's what I was thinking about this morning:

On Tuesday, I somewhat accidentally kept a brand-new dry erase marker that I found in one of my classrooms.

Okay, I did it on purpose because I had left all my markers at home except for one, which the UGA dry erase boards had already bled to death. I tried to justfiy my actions by recalling all the markers I have accidentally left in classrooms that had disappeared when I went to retrieve them.

This brand-new marker then, without warning, began to die a slow and streaky death as I tried to write my students' homework on the board this morning, a mere two days after its very first use.

Then I thought of how the wands in Harry Potter could recognize their true owners and never worked quite as well for other wizards.

(At this point I'd like to point out that it was barely 8:00, and I hadn't had time to finish my coffee this morning. And maybe deep down I do consider myself a wizard who, with my trusty dry erase markers, can magically impart learning to unwilling and oblivious students.)

For a moment, I almost believed that, like a magic wand, this particular marker knew I wasn't its true owner, and, in accordance with some cosmic code of justice regarding stolen teaching resources, it was sabotaging my attempt to write my students' homework on the board. I kind of liked the idea because I think I have stolen far fewer markers than have been stolen from me....

Then, I decided, "No, it's just these cheap dry erase boards at UGA."

And as I was blogging about this whole thinking process, I realized that the real question is not, "Why do dry erase markers die so fast?"

The real question is, "Why in the world are they called 'dry erase' markers?" Last time I checked, chalk uses a dry eraser, too.

For example:

This morning I noted one distinct advantage to teaching at 8am every morning: if I go to use the restroom before class, the toilet seats are still up. Now as a woman, my natural instinct is to be annoyed by this, but it's different at 8am in a public facility. They're still up because no one has used them since they were last cleaned.

And that makes me smile.

Back to blogging!

Why, you ask, would I suddenly take up blogging again after nearly a year-long hiatus?

I blame Facebook. It has changed my life, or at least the way I experience my life.

In short, it has made me start thinking in simple sentences beginning with my own name. Several times a day I think something like, "Jenna is making herself a coffee." Sometimes I get all fancy about it, too: "Jenna has just enjoyed a delightful cup of French press coffee."

It's sad, I know.

Even worse is the whole line of thinking that ensues each time I observe something remotely interesting (to me) about myself, my current state or my current surroundings:

1) Can this observation be condensed into one concise sentence starting with "Jenna Mason Grem"?
2) Am I within reasonable distance of an online connection so that I can update my status with said observation?
3) Is the observation Facebook-worthy in terms of accuracy, importance and wit?
4) Would anybody possibly care to know this piece of information?
5) Would posting this status entertain my friends, or would it give them the impression that I am a perpetual navel-gazer who thinks even the most trivial thoughts should be shared in real time with everyone else I know?

Generally, I hit a "No" somewhere in that series of questions, which is why I often leave the previous status for days after it has ceased to be true, or I just clear my status altogether until I think of something that meets my stringent (haha) criteria.

So, in response to the original question (why blog again?), the answer is that too often some invaluable epiphany occurs in my life that does not meet requirement #1: brevity.

And, what's the difference between Facebook and blogging? Facebook demands brevity, and blogging does not.

So be warned, dear readers (if there are any left): when reading this blog you do hereby assume responsibility for any and all personal risk related to exposure to my long-winded, often inaccurate, unimportant but hopefully still witty, navel-gazing observations about myself and occasionally something else.

cheers.
-jmg