On cereal bowls and the grace of God

That's right, this morning's minor emotional crisis started with cereal bowls. Or rather, without cereal bowls. This morning's minor emotional crisis started when I realized that we had no clean bowls in our house in which to put our cereal. Let's see if I can break it down for you, and maybe you will think I am crazy (my usual self-interpretation) or maybe you will find something here to which you can relate.

To be clear, this is a confession of a particular struggle I've been having, especially since becoming a stay-at-home mom, and it's not intended as an indictment of anyone or anything except those ideas that so easily sneak in to try to distract me from the truth of the gospel. To give some context, though, lately I feel quite often that the world, at least the one in which I live, is simply not accommodating to motherhood. I feel like moms are the ones who take the hit for so many things, big and small, and everyone seems to know it's that way, but everyone seems okay with it. Even moms seem okay with taking the weight of the world on their shoulders, and when they fail, they seem to blame themselves and try harder to do better. As a Christian mom, there's even one more layer--I feel like we're the ones who are tempted to take on the weight on the world, but we've heard we're not supposed to do that, so we try to walk in the grace of God, accepting our failures and, if we're lucky, huddling together with other believers trying to encourage each other and help each other learn how to survive the day-in-day-out monotony of raising our children, loving our husbands, serving our churches, volunteering at our schools, managing our households, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I am blessed to have a husband who sees what I see and does everything in his power to assuage some of the overwhelming burden, but he is often as angered by it as I am, if not more. And I don't believe many women have such a jewel of a spouse, even when their spouses are very loving, well-intentioned men. So, here are my recent thoughts and experiences related to that topic.

It really started yesterday at nap time (today's crisis, that is), when I decided to try very hard to post a well-articulated, not offensive, but perhaps assumption-challenging comment on a friend's Facebook wall regarding the interpretation of a Czeslaw Milosz quotation he had cited and to which several others had already responded. I had planned to take a catnap while the kids were sleeping, but the resulting discussion of my comment kept me busy until they woke up, and it also left me fearing I had perhaps offended when I merely meant to discuss ideas.

Or maybe it started when I drove back from South Carolina in 12 hours with two children to find my husband very sick, which lasted three days, followed by Will's 10 day sickness, which overlapped with my own 7 day sickness, during which Darren had a bit of a relapse but recovered quickly, before we all finally passed the bug on to Lily, who is still sick. And teething.

It goes without saying that during those three or four weeks, the house stayed fairly dirty, I hadn't been grocery shopping, and the laundry piled up--just in time for our washing machine to break with the landlord saying it will be another week (that makes two total) before it might be fixed. So our bedroom floor is covered in piles of dirty clothes, and I've already taken to washing things at friends' houses.

And I guess I could identify some other influencing factors, like the fact that Lily is still nursing and not only refuses to take a bottle of anything but breastmilk, but she also freaks out when Darren tries to feed her solid food while I'm in the room. She also cries the entire time if we leave her in the nursery at church, and she takes a long time to warm up to strangers, so finding babysitters is just plain difficult.

And I've been worrying, but trying to pray and trust God, about my relationship with Will, who is in many ways very particular about things, just like I can be, and who can often be very self-centered and demanding, to the point of acting helpless about things he can do for himself just to get my undivided attention, which is often hard to give right when he wants it. So we've been butting heads a good bit, but I'm trying to keep in mind that some of this is age-related, some is just plain disobedience, and some are areas where I really can work on being more compassionate and loving.

Also, I have finally given up on the idea of being able to participate in any community group through our church, partly because it's too difficult to make the times work with our kids' naps or Lily's bedtime. That came to a head last night when I spent the duration of community group in a dark room holding Lily while she slept on my shoulder. The most frustrating part is that no other moms come to the group because their husbands, who do come, are all in some kind of ministry, so their lives are pretty packed already with ministry-related things, I guess. And they participate in other small groups as a family, while this one is intended to be a prayer group for the new church our church is wanting to plant. The few times Lily has slept during our meeting time, I'm in a room of men with whom I don't feel I can truly open up because they have no frame of reference for the struggles that I might share. It seems like Darren and I are the only ones who come to the group as a family, and it just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore.

But all of that is just background for today, and miraculously, I think I had been doing okay with the encouragement of good friends and a loving husband. I had really been trying to find my identity in Christ rather than in my performance as a wife and mother.

But then the cereal bowls...

So as I frantically wash dishes, slice an apple for Lily, and make Darren's lunch from the sparse scraps of food we have left in our refrigerator, here's how the downward spiral goes in my head:

"If I hadn't spent all that time posting that Facebook comment yesterday, I could've been washing the dishes so we'd have something to eat off of this morning. Not that cereal is that great of a breakfast--who needs 210 calories of pure carbs to get them through until lunch? If I weren't so lazy, I'd get up in time to make something with protein for my family so we're not all starving by 10am. And I spend so much time thinking I can do this motherhood thing better than moms who burn the candle at both ends for years on end and end up bitter about it, when really I'm just making excuses for my own laziness. There's apparently no other way to actually make a family work without me being the first to get up in the morning and get everything done before everyone starts asking me for things that I should already have ready for them. But that would mean I'd have to go to bed early in order to get enough rest, which would mean I don't get quality time with Darren, which would hurt our marriage, so I guess I'd have to get up early and stay up later just like every other mom in the history of time has had to do. Forget rest, forget fixing my own breakfast or having five minutes to sit down and eat without someone demanding something from me. And why should I expect that? Why should I expect that I be able to sit at church rather than walk around with my crying baby like other moms often have to do? What makes me so special? I have been so arrogant to think I could do this any differently than any other mom. And maybe it's all part of the curse. But didn't Jesus die to set us free from the curse of sin and death? Did that not include moms? Does God even give a crap about moms? Is there ever an instance in the entire new testament where Jesus has anything to say to, or even about, moms? Why are we the ones who still have to bear the brunt of the curse?!?"

Pretty great stuff, huh? Thankfully, I was able to say all this to Darren, who was supposed to get to work early, but ended up getting there later because of my breakdown, and he patiently sympathized with me and talked me through the truth of the gospel again. And the best part was that he understood, not five minutes after saying all this and really meaning it, I felt stupid for thinking it. I felt silly. Cereal bowls, really? Wow, I have lost it for sure. But that was just pride trying to sneak in on top of everything else. I had doubted God, doubted his love for me, and I was embarrassed that Darren was there to see it. I was even more embarrassed because he handled the situation in such a loving way, while I struggle to be loving and compassionate when he has doubts of his own.

But, all that said, now I am glad that Darren was there. For one thing, it helped me get my head on straight and reminded me that I can't rely on my feelings to tell me who God is. They are so volatile that I need something outside myself to tell me what the truth is. Thank God for his Word! Also, I am glad he pointed out how naked I was feeling and how difficult it is to have your failures seen even by someone as close and loving as your spouse. It was that insight of his that made me want to share this further, in case anyone else feels what I so often feel and needs to know you're not alone in it.

Also, I'm reminded of a hymn that has been meaningful to me lately:

Father-like, He tends and spares us;
well our feeble faith He grows.
In His hand he gently bears us,
rescues us from all our foes.
Praise Him, praise Him,
praise Him, praise Him,
widely as His mercy goes.

God bless you moms out there. Please know that I am praying for those of you that I know, and feel free to pray for me, too!

The Rest of 2010: A Belated New Year's Post

2010 was an trying and chaotic year for our family. All the aspects of our lives that (we now recognize) had been on auto-pilot were suddenly flipped to manual control. For the entirety of our married life, we had lived in the same apartment, worked and studied at the same university, attended the same church, hung out with the same friends, and even driven the same truck. Suddenly we moved into a house, almost lost a job two weeks later, had a baby via c-section, got a last-minute post-doc at Yale, finished a dissertation, bought a new car, moved to Greenville, moved to Connecticut a month later, found a new church, made new friends, enrolled a son in preschool, and adjusted to being a single-income family of four, all while facing up to deep-rooted problems in our marriage and in our parenting that often continue to be a struggle. The product of all of that, and the only thing that enabled us to survive it, has been a continual reorientation of our lives so that the gospel is the center around which everything else revolves rather than the peripheral system of beliefs that (we now recognize) it had been before. As Darren likes to put it, we felt like God plucked us out of our nice, neat, routine little lives, plopped us all into a cold, bare room together and said, “You've got the gospel and each other. Make it work.”

And this is good. The changes we have seen in our marriage, in our relationship with Will and Lily, and in our relationships with others have reminded us that God is sovereign and He is for us, not against us. We have already seen that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28), and we are confident that the repercussions of all these changes will continue to multiply over time. For that reason, when I look back on 2010, what stands out most is God's faithfulness in the midst of chaos.

That said, I think it's important for me to also remember that 2010 was not all chaos. There were also many times of peace and joy and rest. My fear is that some of those times, which were sweet and precious, may get overshadowed in my memory by the more trying times unless I make a focused effort to reflect upon them and record them. So, with that preface, I give you “The Rest of 2010: A Chronology.” Please forgive the excessive exclamation points.

Feb 20: We moved to a new house! Even though, in retrospect, this seemed to kick off the season of chaos, at the time it was really quite exhilarating. While the house itself was beautiful with its amazing kitchen, front porch, back deck and huge yard, the most memorable part of this move was the overwhelming number of people that came to chip in. We felt so loved and encouraged by our friends and family that weekend.

Mar 3 – 7: Darren and I took a small “babymoon” in Blue Ridge, GA. Again, what stands out most is the kindness of friends—we had planned a touristy-type weekend in Atlanta, but had to cancel it because my job was on the chopping block at UGA. Some sweet friends from small group jumped right in and offered their family's cabin to us for several days, and we took a relaxing trip there instead. While there we saw the posting for the Yale post-doc that eventually led us to New Haven. The next Sunday, Darren and I did keep one of our Atlanta plans, a performance of King Lear at Shakespeare's Tavern, while his parents kept Will.

Mar 30: Lily was born! Need I say more? She's awesome.

Apr 2: Darren got the Yale post-doc! We got this news about an hour before checking out of the hospital to take Lily home. So, on the way to our house, we stopped at Target, bought a Sharpie and a white onesie on which Darren drew the Yale logo as a way of breaking the good news to his parents.

Apr 10: Will's 3rd Birthday Party! What a blast! His friends Jackson Morse, Gweny Musgrove, Melissa Coffey, Abby Winters, and Will Brannen joined us in running around outside, decorating t-shirts and visors, icing their own cupcakes and engaging in other generally messy activities.

May 8: Darren's Graduation! First was the ceremony at Stegeman Coliseum, followed by a barbecue with family at our house, then a night out to celebrate with friends at Trappeze. This day was a long time coming, for sure!

May 9: Lily's Baptism. Again, what made this special were friends and family. Kay Carlisle had made the most breath-taking baptismal gown for Lily, and it was wonderful to be able to baptize our second child at Redeemer Presbyterian Church even though we would be moving to Connecticut soon after.

May 21: 5 year anniversary! Friday night I came home from martial arts to a romantic candlelit home, complete with Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate martinis, Oreos (when dunked in a chocolate martini, they are truly a gourmet dessert), rose petals and a live performance of a new song Darren had written for us. As if that weren't enough, Saturday night, we went to Atlanta to Woodfire Grill for the single best dining experience of our lives. I will never forget those lemon mascarpone stoneground grits...

Jun 19: Karen & Bryan's Wedding! I have to admit, being Matron of Honor is slightly more complicated while nursing a 3 month old, but the entire weekend was wonderful start to finish. Personally, I got to enjoy all the fun of pedicures, mimosas and Ike & Jane doughnuts while getting our hair done, doing Karen's makeup, and pictures, pictures, pictures! It was delightful meeting more of Karen and Bryan's family and friends who live outside of Athens and especially getting to participate in the ceremony. Some other highlights: dancing with Darren throughout the entire reception and toasting with Patron Silver in dainty little teacups...a couple times. It was a phenomenal way to spend our last days in Athens.

Jul 3 – 4: The kids and I made the move to New Haven. Darren had gone up several days earlier and completely arranged our beautiful new apartment before our arrival. He even surprised me with new bedding in our room that we had been putting off purchasing for a long time. The kids were amazing travelers, and a little while after we arrived, we all walked two blocks to a tasty little pizza place for dinner. The next morning, we visited what would become our new church home, Christ Presbyterian Church. We ate lunch with our new pastor and were invited to watch fireworks the same night. We were so thankful for such a 'soft landing' once we got to our new home.

Sep 25-26: Darren planned a very special date night while his parents were visiting. First we toured the Yale Art Gallery, which was stunning to say the least. Next we picnicked in East Rock Park and looked out over the city of New Haven to watch the sunset. But the best part was that, instead of driving us home afterward, Darren passed our house and drove to a very hip hotel nearby called Hotel Sierra. We watched Georgia Football (and won!), tried out the jacuzzi, enjoyed delicious chocolate and wine, et cetera...The next morning we slept in (!), then pigged out at the awesome continental breakfast before heading back home to the kiddos.

Dec 25 - 29: Best Christmas Ever. It was so wonderful to have a long, relaxing trip down south for the holidays. First we stopped at my parents place for a few days and enjoyed lots of time and great meals with them. Next we hit Rock Hill to spend Christmas day there as we have every year since we started dating. We had the best time hanging out with Darren's siblings and parents. The food was amazing, and we even enjoyed some wine and chocolate while playing Cranium and watching the snow fall on Christmas night. The next day was a blast, too—snowball fights, snow angels, sledding, cider, all before noon! Then, as my Christmas gift from Darren, he and I took off for coffee and an afternoon of shopping for post-P90X clothes. The best part was spending the time with Darren and knowing that, unlike most husbands out there, he was actually enjoying watching me try on about a hundred different shirts, pants and skirts before walking out with only 10 things. As a matter of fact, this venture continued throughout the following week until we finally found suitable pants at Express the next Sunday. Finally, we got to visit with my grandparents, extended family and parents (again!) in Madison, NC. Will and his cousin Isabelle were attached at the hip for three days straight, and the cuteness was almost unbearable.

Dec 31: New Year's Eve with Darren. I'll admit, it was difficult to break a 10 year tradition of spending New Year's Eve and New Year's Day with the Odoms and Akridges. Still, after the rollercoaster of a year we had had, it was fitting to spend a quiet evening with Darren and enjoy the fact that we made it through this year, more than any other, together. To celebrate, we cooked a steak dinner together, and enjoyed it with wine by candlelight before watching a great game of football together. We rose above our previous disdain for (or fear of) New Year's Resolutions, and we made some solid ones together for 2011.

So, there it is folks. Like I said, I wrote this list mainly for my own memory's sake, but I hope you've enjoyed reading it, too. For those we don't see often, it's a glimpse of our lives that you may have missed last year. And for everyone, I hope it inspires you to take a moment to remember God's faithfulness and blessings to you over the past year as well.

Friday Wine & Poetry

New Haven

Now that I'm home,
manicuring my image
of maternal nurture,
mastering the moving parts
of a makeshift family machine,

I'll spend
a full two minutes
removing one cat hair that has woven itself
into the fibers of an afghan,

half an hour
arranging handsoaps and lotions,
all gifts, all half-used,
all so aromatic and unlikely
to ever make it onto skin.

It's the order that's therapeutic.

For afternoon coffee,
I take my time,
choose a mug that matches my mood
and what I'm wearing.
Today it's the thin lime stripe in my plaid pajama pants.

I don't always wear pajamas all day—

This time I was storm-soaked in the market parking lot.
(At home, I changed.)

And now
I find the time to write you,
to tell you everything I'm taking
and finding,
the ways I'm making it home,

and that the rush of passing traffic
is the same as the sound of shores
and fountains,
a constant waterless washing
pouring in the windows.

Floor Plans

Most of you reading this post know that Darren, the kids and I will be moving up to New Haven, Connecticut in the next month or so. While waiting in a doctor's office today, I started to think of the many, many things I will miss about Athens once we leave. Since I was trying not to lose my composure completely, I steered my thoughts toward one of my favorite aspects of this little town—the food. That is, I started mentally listing all the amazing dishes that I know I exactly where to find in Athens whenever the mood strikes me.

Just as I was beginning to debate (yes, with myself) about where each dish would fall in a top-ten list, I had a sudden, vivid recollection of the last time I made a major move. I was so much younger that, believe it or not, I hadn't yet developed the near-obsession I have with good food today.

I'm sitting in my seventh-grade English classroom at Sweetwater Middle School, having just moved to Lawrenceville from Raleigh a few weeks beforehand. The school system here is completely different than the one at the magnet school I've been attending in Raleigh, and all the material in my classes here is review from the past two years there. Needless to say, I am bored and utterly tuned out to what is going on around me.

Here's the weird part, which I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit because I'm sure some of you will think, “That's weird.” To bide the time until my next class, I start drawing, to the very best of my ability, the floor plan of my old middle school in Raleigh. To my 12 year old brain, my old school was far superior to this tiny place. It had three separate buildings, two of which had two stories and were enormous. The third was a later addition where such classes as dance and painting were taught. It did have trailers, like any middle school, but they housed not only French and Spanish classes, but also Russian, Japanese and German. I remember even explaining to a friend of mine how we needed a full 10 minutes for class changes because the school was so big that it was like high schools in Georgia.

But seriously, the floor plan?

And until today, I couldn't quite make sense of why in the world I would obsess so much over that. Now I think, just like my need to list in order of most importance my favorite entrees and desserts in Athens, I was trying to somehow quantify the experience of missing a place that felt so much like home. Then, most of my days were spent in that school. My most meaningful interactions took place there, and I discovered a lot about myself in the year and a half that I attended it.

Here, I have spent an unbelievable amount of time building friendships, studying, and even working in my favorite restaurants and cafes downtown. I know I've dumped obscene amounts of money and time into these places in exchange for the social interactions, and the incredible treats, they have provided. And I know it will be a very sad day when I start to crave Five Star Day's Chicken and Dumplings, and I have to scour a new city in hopes of finding anything that even remotely compares. Or anyone to call up at a moment's notice to meet me there...

I know there's no way to quantify the way that the past 11 years have turned Athens into the only place I've ever really called home, and I know this is just one of the many tricks I will try to play on myself to make it less painful to leave. But just for kicks, here's the list, or at least a rough draft:

Top Ten Foods I Will Miss in Athens:

(in no particular order, because I got distracted from that debate with myself)

1. Mirko's Tiramisu

2. Five Star Day's Chicken and Dumplings (also, Fried Green Tomatoes, Soul Chicken Pasta, Garden Club...)

3. Cookies'n'Company's Curry Chicken Salad on a Croissant (yeah, they've already closed, but I still miss it!)

4. The Grill's Fries and Feta

5. Cali'n'Tito's Tostones

6. Walker's Coffee (hey, coffee is food.)

7. Trappeze (everything. beer is also food.)

8. Casa Mia's Latin Sushi Roll

9. Ike and Jane's Elvis Donut (peanut butter, banana, bacon. on a donut.)

10. Chick-Fil-A (it's not just Athens, I know, but what are the chances of finding one in New Haven???)

Fount of Every Blessing

Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace.

Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount; I’m fixed upon it, mount of God’s unchanging love.

Today was a good day.

I woke up slowly next to a husband who loves me more than I will ever be able to comprehend.

Lily was stirring in the cradle, which had been hand-carved by a dear friend’s father and lent to us as a symbol that we are not just friends but family. Darren picked her up and laid her in the bed between us. Even a month after her birth, we still are so taken with our second child that we just gazed at her quietly together.

Next, Will came down the steps and into our room—a rare occasion since he usually calls to us to come upstairs when he wakes up. He snuggled up with the rest of us, giggled and played with his toy trains for a while. Even our cat curled up at my feet to complete the magazine cliché of a happy young family. The intellectual in me considered making some joke about how we had finally attained the bourgeois ideal of happiness and security, but I found myself too content to risk ruining a moment of such quiet joy.

Of course, the day picked up steam. Coffee, Thomas videos, showers, breakfast, dishes, email. Just as I was rushing off to my karate class, Darren handed me the credit card to do a little post-maternity shopping. At class, I was invigorated to be able to exercise at almost my pre-caesarean level; shopping for new clothes at my pre-pregnancy size was even more exciting.

In the late afternoon, our whole family went to a relaxed, delightful party at a local park. Even the weather was perfect. Darren went to meet a friend for a round of golf, and I took the kids home. Lily stayed asleep while I put Will to bed a full hour and a half early, then she woke up right on time for her early evening feeding. She went back to sleep immediately, and I drew a bath with aromatic lavender bubbles that were a gift from my (step)Mom when Will was born. And I poured a glass of red wine that another close friend had brought over earlier in the week.

It was while I was sitting in the bath that I began to reflect on how incredibly good the day had been. Here I was, soaking in a garden tub in a house we should never have been able to afford, drinking wine that I didn’t buy, and reflecting on all the goodness I’ve just described. Afterward, I would put on brand new pajamas (not the only thing I bought with the Discover card) and a rich lotion that came as a free gift with my purchase. For a moment, I thought, “I should feel guilty about this. It’s all so frivolous and unnecessary, and there are so many people who deserve this more than I do.”

That led me to the question, “Where is the place for luxury in the Christian life?” Surely, comfort and luxury are not to be sought after; we are to seek after Christ. But there are times, like today, when luxury seems to be dumped in our laps. What are we to do? Should we renounce them categorically, since our only true need is for God’s love and the redeeming work of Christ? Or, should we enjoy them with the mindset that God has created wonderful things both for His pleasure and our own? Is mere thankfulness enough to justify this enjoyment? Where does sacrifice and ‘dying to self’ fit into this picture?

Then, I began to reconsider the question altogether. I am calling these things luxury: a loving family, a beautiful house, a peaceful evening. But that must mean that there are things to which I feel entitled, things which I don’t consider luxury but necessity. Food, shelter, work, peace of mind. These aren’t blessings—they are things I assume God should give me.

In light of the Gospel, however, I know I am a depraved sinner who deserves nothing but God’s judgment and wrath. Both Darren and I have become keenly aware of this truth in the past year, and particularly in the past couple weeks, as we work through some incredibly difficult situations together. It is a truth that leaves little room for categories: anything good is luxury, and I don’t deserve any of it.

I don’t write this out of guilt or asceticism. Quite the opposite—this points at the true freedom found in the Gospel. I can enjoy a bubble bath with thankfulness just as I enjoy having food to feed my family or a job to pay the bills. There is no difference. God is the Fount of every blessing, and for the Christian, everything is a blessing: “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Not only that, I also don’t have to fear losing the things I love or enjoy. They are not the source of my contentment or peace of mind, so I know that God will sustain me with or without them. In fact, even our struggles and sufferings are good because God uses them to refine us and to prove His complete provision for all our needs: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Most of all, knowing that I am not only forgiven but loved by a God who knows every evil thought I’ve ever entertained and every sinful action I’ve ever committed is the most freeing truth of all. This grace and love are the true luxuries, and they are absolutely at the center of the Christian life.

Let that grace now, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Status update:

Jenna thinks she might be over the lime green background for her blog.

A teacher's dream

So, this morning I was thinking about dry erase markers.

For those whose profession doesn't demand much interaction with these writing utensils, there are a couple things you need to know:

1-They are so much better than chalk.

2-But they die much more quickly than chalk.

3- Especially when used on a cheap dry erase board.

4-UGA has cheap dry erase boards.

Presumably, this was an effort to save UGA money. Those of us who can do basic math know, however, that buying one more expensive board, which will last five times as long as its cheap alternative, will ultimately save you more money. And it won't destroy my dry erase markers so quickly, which will save me money, too.

So that is the background information; here's what I was thinking about this morning:

On Tuesday, I somewhat accidentally kept a brand-new dry erase marker that I found in one of my classrooms.

Okay, I did it on purpose because I had left all my markers at home except for one, which the UGA dry erase boards had already bled to death. I tried to justfiy my actions by recalling all the markers I have accidentally left in classrooms that had disappeared when I went to retrieve them.

This brand-new marker then, without warning, began to die a slow and streaky death as I tried to write my students' homework on the board this morning, a mere two days after its very first use.

Then I thought of how the wands in Harry Potter could recognize their true owners and never worked quite as well for other wizards.

(At this point I'd like to point out that it was barely 8:00, and I hadn't had time to finish my coffee this morning. And maybe deep down I do consider myself a wizard who, with my trusty dry erase markers, can magically impart learning to unwilling and oblivious students.)

For a moment, I almost believed that, like a magic wand, this particular marker knew I wasn't its true owner, and, in accordance with some cosmic code of justice regarding stolen teaching resources, it was sabotaging my attempt to write my students' homework on the board. I kind of liked the idea because I think I have stolen far fewer markers than have been stolen from me....

Then, I decided, "No, it's just these cheap dry erase boards at UGA."

And as I was blogging about this whole thinking process, I realized that the real question is not, "Why do dry erase markers die so fast?"

The real question is, "Why in the world are they called 'dry erase' markers?" Last time I checked, chalk uses a dry eraser, too.